Miss XYZ 0000

XYZ 0000! That’s me, for sure! You can call me simply Miss X for I’m still waiting for a name...my number plate. Till then, this is my identity...Miss X!

It’s been two weeks since I came to this showroom. It was a long journey, packed in a dark room with a few other cars till finally we reach our destination. In my case, this huge car showroom! When I reached the place, there were already a few more cars around flaunting their looks. But it didn’t matter; none was as good as me! And this is not what I say; it’s what the people around started saying from day one when I was experience the crowd in the showroom.

Speed, suave and style! That’s how they define me! I think I’m the best in the showroom. But some people around just don’t seem to realize my worth. How do I tell them to treat me with more sophistication? They come and open the doors, sit inside and jump on the seat, close the doors with a bang and fidget with my switches. I know it is part of daily routine and like all others I have to follow it too but what benefit do these people get by playing with my wipers! Don’t they know they move automatically when turned on and not by moving them manually!

Anyways, I know I’m the best. The others here are jealous of me! They are jealous because I attract the maximum crowd. No person walks by me without stopping to admire my oomph and shine!

But you know, the people in this place have started talking that I’ve been around here for quite some time. I hear there is a newcomer coming to take my place!

My place! I’m the queen here and somebody else is going to take my place! Some newcomer who hasn’t even stepped on the road before is going to push me back to the inside of this showroom! It’s a horrible feeling and it makes me hate this new chick even before she is here!

I don’t express my unhappiness but sometimes, when the showroom lights are all off, I think of how the others here must have felt when I entered this place two weeks ago. Jealous? Yes, exactly the same that I feel for this new, yet to arrive guest.

But you think I can live in this depression and complex? Definitely not! I am Miss X, the star of the showroom and I will be!

‘The’ Miss X...epitome of speed, suave and style! Nothing can compete with Miss X. Just wait till I hit the roads...very soon!

Handicap Seat

Second from the door on bus no. 503; that’s my address. And as for my name, they call me the 'Handicap Seat'. Not that I am in any way less efficient than my counterparts, but because they choose to call me so.

It has been years since I came to live here and ever since, am trying my best to cope up with the environment around. From 7 in the morning to 10 at night, I am constantly on the move.

As my name goes, Handicap Seat, I am primarily here to serve the handicap but not many travel by bus. So, it’s generally other people who enjoy the luxury. Women generally are the ones who come to me, I guess because the seats behind me are all Ladies Seats. But during rush hours you must see the amount of people who flock around me. After all, I happily welcome everyone!

To describe you a typical day at work, it generally starts in a low, lazy pace. Less people on the move and so less pressure on me too. But once the office hours start, there is heavy rush!

Just the other day, there was a huge fight in the morning. There were impossible number of people packed inside the bus and almost four leaning on me, apart from the two fat ladies sitting gracefully on top! It so happened that the fat lady sitting in the corner got pushed a little by the man standing near me. She made a huge ruckus that the man was misbehaving with her! Of course such incidents often happen on the bus but this time, I am the witness, the man was innocent! The bus was at great speed and suddenly when it used its brakes, the man lost balance. Had there been someone thinner I’m sure it wouldn’t have been the case but this woman; she was already half way out of the seat!

Oh! I got so engrossed in the man’s agony that I forgot to describe my own! Did I tell you the amount of pressure I felt on myself because of their weight! But still, they were better than the boisterous people that I sometimes have to face. They run to get on the bus and sit on me with a bang! No wonder I’ve started creaking!

For some people I have become a lover’s wall where they proclaim their love and some treat me as a free marketing site where they write their mobile numbers for anonymous people to call. And then there are the destructive ones who scratch my cover, cut it with blade and stuff the tickets inside.

My life is hectic but I feel it’s worth it! Every time a tired person sits on my seat, it gives me satisfaction that I have helped someone. After a long wait in the scorching sun, when someone gets on the bus and finds me empty, there is a relief on his face and the exhaustion seems to vanish as he sits on my seat.

And above all, it is so rewarding when people, no matter how tired they are, get up from my seat and let a physically challenged person sit. You have seen it too isn’t it and still you feel humanity no longer exists!? I am lucky. I feel it almost every other day!

Balcony se gira CAR pe atka!

It was around 11:30 in the morning. The shops were all open but there was not much crowd, probably because of the hot summer sun.

In one of the residential buildings, there was a party on the 3rd floor and somehow, without getting noticed, a dog managed to enter the house. He easily climbed his way from the street to the house on the 3rd floor. The dog was still wandering around the house amidst guests, trying to find something to eat when someone in the house saw him. He shooed the dog and it ran towards the balcony facing the street market!

On the other hand, down below in the street, people were unaware of all this and as usual, were engaged in their work. Suddenly, they heard a loud noise and rushed outside the shops. They looked in amazement as they saw a dog lying on the bonnet of a car...with all four legs in the air! “Balcony se gira CAR pe atka”!

Anyways, the next reaction of the people around was to look up to see from where the dog had fallen. And they saw some people looking down from the 3rd floor balcony.

Ok, now you know it is the same party dog who managed to sneak its way to the party.

On being shooed by the people in the house, the dog ran towards the balcony and jumped from the wide opening in between the railings!
(Kaun kehta hai aadmi hi superman ho sakta hai!! Here is a Superman. kutta...ummm....Superkutta with a super strong will...I believe I can fly!)

And the real fun was when the owner of the car came to know about all this. He ran out to see the dog lying as it is on the car... YES, with all four legs in the air! (BBQing dog in aadivasi style!)

Next he noticed the huge dent on his car bonnet! And ran out crying whose dog it is (I guess he was sure the dog’s owner would pay him for the damage) and some people had already started listing out the families who had pet dogs!

And to spice up the whole matter, there came a huge revelation... someone from the crowd shouted... “Aree ye to gali ka kutta hai!”

Poor car wala! He had nothing so say...must have gone to get his car repaired!

P.S. This is a true incident that happened in my colony! The dog is fine but missing :D